


blocked & reported

by jjaeni



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 97 line friendship!!, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Crack, M/M, Memes, Twitter, i just love svt and chatfics sooo, references to stale vines, some mentions of other groups, this is ridiculous im just bored, twitter/social media au as if there arent enough already, will update relationship tags later probably, yeah i really dont know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaeni/pseuds/jjaeni
Summary: seventeen needs less free time.aka:seventeen social media (mostly chat + twt) au bc thats exactly what this fandom needs more of!1!!





	1. seungcheol ur a twit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhhh anyways
> 
>  
> 
> oh also its only rated t+ for language but i might take it back down later... i dont think they even swear in this

**just try me** @mingahoe

 

so….. anyone else remember kim mingyus iconic emo phase in 7th grade or is it just me??

  


**unholy screech no.1** @seokseokseok

 

@mingahoe IF ANYONE FORGETS JUST HMU FOR PICS I HAVE LIKE 80

  


**pika pika binch** @angelhannie

 

@mingahoe @seokseokseok pls provide said images minnie i suddenly have amnesia

  


**is it high or heeeeyyyy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@mingahoe @seokseokseok @angelhannie me as well…. seokmin hmu

  


**lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@mingahoe @seokseokseok @angelhannie @hoshhoshhosh rtrt i need more blackmail

  


**not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@mingahoe @seokseokseok @angelhannie @hoshhoshhosh @wonmood blocked & reported u snakes

  


-

  


**$coops** @choiseungcheol

 

is no one going to comment on booseoksoon’s matching users??? true icons only

  


**#LIKEY** @kwankwankwan

 

@choiseungcheol i mean thanks but why is ur @ just ur name…. dad…. pls

  


**$coops** @choiseungcheol

 

@kwankwankwan son i raised u on my back i cant believe this disrespect…

  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

@kwankwankwan is this better :(((((

  


**#LIKEY** @kwankwankwan

 

@dadcheol its an improvement ig

  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

@kwankwankwan feeling very attacked rn :((((((((

  


-

  


**burger king** @honkjisos

 

update: @angelhannie is a TWIT i no longer know him

  


**clink clink** @junhweed69

 

@honkjisos @angelhannie oof i smell tea… im here for it josh

  


**don’t look down on me** @leejh

 

@junhweed69 reading your username makes my will to die increase exponentially

  


**clink clink** @junhweed69

 

@leejh thats the general idea

  


**pika pika binch** @angelhannie

 

@honkjisos babe calm down

  


**not hannies bf** @honkjisos

 

@angelhannie NO

  


**nyooming outta here** @dinonono

 

@honkjisos @angelhannie lmao wtf is going on

  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos @angelhannie @dinonono chan…. just ignore them u know how they are

  


**not hannies bf** @honkjisos

 

@angelhannie @dinonono @dadcheol yoon jeonghan is a snake and thats all you need to know

  


-

  


_Saturday, November 4_

_10:17 PM_

 

 **[** **_we dem bois_ ** (@choiseungcheol, @jisoo95) **]**

 

 **choiseungcheol** : did he cheat at mario kart again

 

 **jisoo95** : i just…... want to know how he does it

 

 **jisoo95** : literally you cant just play rainbow road and not fall off once?? no??? thats not how it works????

 

 **choiseungcheol** : josh.. its okay

 

 **jisoo95** : THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK WTFJKLWKJSDJFK

 

-

  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

guys mario kart is just a game chill out

  


**unholy screech no.1** @seokseokseok

 

@dadcheol clearly you have never known the pain of being hit by a blue shell... mere feet before finishing first

  


**#LIKEY** @kwankwankwan

 

@dadcheol @seokseokseok dad u cant just say that

 

 

 **not hannies bf** @honkjisos

 

@dadcheol @seokseokseok @kwankwankwan seungcheol please choke

  


**not hannies bf** @honkjisos

 

@dadcheol @seokseokseok @kwankwankwan thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why im starting another fic when i never update my exo one and my other series is dead... yeah
> 
>  
> 
> i might make this multi-chaptered but idk yet ://
> 
>  
> 
> kudos/comments/feedback? thank you for reading lmaooo


	2. i want my life to be h2over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more of seventeen being dumb!!
> 
>  
> 
> ps pls pls pls vote for seventeen on idol champ and mama they deserve a win :'((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually continuing this what a concept
> 
>  
> 
> ps picture formatting in ao3 is a bitch and i couldnt get it to work properly so i apologize that the pictures are weird

_Sunday, November 5_

_12:04 PM_

 

 **[** **_96 more like 69 ay lmao_ ** (@wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon) **]**

 

 **kwonsoon** : HELP

 

 **kwonsoon** : GUYS

 

 **wjh96** : what

 

 **kwonsoon** : IM HAVING A CRISIS

 

 **leejihoon** : ???

 

 **kwonsoon** : sdfjKLSSFKJDWDJFIFEK

 

 **wjh96** : that doesnt rlly clarify anything… pls try again soonyoung

 

 **kwonsoon** : im

 

 **kwonsoon** : DYING

 

 **leejihoon** : oh i thought it was something actually important but i see i can go back to procrastinating now

 

 **kwonsoon** : 1) fuck u jihoon 2) gotDAMN im whipped for lee chan

 

 **jeonww** : did i hear lee chans name... u mean the actual light of my life

 

 **jeonww** : i love my son

 

 **kwonsoon** : SO DO I….. hes an angel

 

 **wjh96** : agreed

 

 **wjh96** : anyways what was ur point soonyoung

 

 **kwonsoon** : hes so fucking CUTE…… he asked me to help him study for his test this tuesday yknow the one hes been stressing abt for like the past week and a half

 

 **jeonww** : yes yes go on

 

 **kwonsoon** : so i go over there and HE MADE COOKIES FOR US

 

 **wjh96** : how to win a man’s heart: food

 

 **kwonsoon** : so then we’re studying and he pulls out the most ADORABLE GLASSES IVE EVER SEEN

 

 **kwonsoon** : AND THEN HE PUSHED THEM UP WITH HIS SWEATER PAWS AND I THINK MY HEART IMPLODED

 

 **kwonsoon** : AHHHHHHJDFKFSDKJEIKJSDDSGHDSLJKFSJFKLGHASLDFKJFH

 

 **leejihoon** : wait are you still with him??

 

 **kwonsoon** : hes in the bathroom

 

 **leejihoon** : ….ask him out you absolute walnut

 

 **jeonww** : ^^uve been pining too long…. its time to make a move already boy-o

 

 **wjh96** : ^^^do it or no balls

 

 **kwonsoon** : …….

 

 **kwonsoon** : fine

 

 **kwonsoon** : and only to prove to mister wen that i am indeed, in possession of testicles

 

 **jeonww** : go get em cowboy

 

 **wjh96** : yeehaw

 

 **kwonsoon** : will do my best lads!

 

-

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

there is a car alarm currently going off

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

@honkjisos and i would not have a problem with this

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

@honkjisos if it hadnt been going off for the past TWENTY MINUTES

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

@honkjisos are ppl rlly this unobservant…. i just wanna know

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos can vouch for this story im with him but hes now talking w one of his friends we ran into so... im taking over this thread

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos its still going…. the person is trying to get into their car

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos why are they going in through the window…. did they lose their keys or smth

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos oh he got in and is leaving

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos car alarm is fading into the distance…. why is it still going???

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@honkjisos @dadcheol uhhhh dad… i think u just witnessed a car theft

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@honkjisos @mingahoe oh worm... i think minghao is right brb guys

  

 **unholy screech no.1**  @seokseokseok

 

@honkjisos @mingahoe @dadcheol its true i was the guy stealing the car

 

 **bitcc** @wonmood

 

@honkjisos @mingahoe @dadcheol @seokseokseok i was the car window

 

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

everyone im back and jae says hi!

 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

wait wtf did i just miss the annoying car is gone and seungcheol is on the phone w the police?????

 

-

 

 **fasian** @98vern

 

what up

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@98vern im jared

 

 **ever seen a chicken strip** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@98vern @mingahoe im 19

 

 **nyooming outta here** @dinonono

 

@98vern @mingahoe @hoshhoshhosh and i never fuckin learned how to read

 

 **mister wen** @junhweed69

 

@98vern @mingahoe @hoshhoshhosh @dinonono

 

 

 

-

 

**kwon.soonyoung**

 

Liked by **yoonjh** , **xumh97** , **bookwan** , and **177 others**

 **kwon.soonyoung** movie night with my fav loser today (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑  @ **_** leechan

_Load more comments_

**wenjunhui** i concede, mister kwon has proved his possession of testicles

 **kwon.soonyoung** i appreciate the acknowledgment mister wen @wenjunhui

 **joshuaahong** do i even want to know @wenjunhui

 **wenjunhui** @joshuaahong ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

-

 

 **:’))** @kwankwankwan

 

u ever feel sad bc all ur friends are in gross cute relationships and ur just unlovable and forever alone??!

 

 **unholy screech no.1** @seokseokseok

 

 **@** kwankwankwan boo i love u... talk??

 

 **:’))** @kwankwankwan

 

@seokseokseok sigh…. dm

 

-

 

 **im being haunted** @98vern

 

oh shit i just got chills…. time to kickstart my career as a 21-year old female beauty guru with my first STORYTIME??!

 

 **not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@98vern i will help edit ur video and am omw to ur house rn

 

 **im being haunted** @98vern

 

@mingew camera battery? charged. imovie? launched. dick? out.

 

 **not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@98vern boy im glad we’re friends... see u in three minutes love u no homo

 

 **im being haunted** @98vern

 

@mingew love u too no homo

 

-

 

 **don’t look down on me** @leejh

 

tfw u know ur friends are probably joking… yet theyre just such fuckboys it HURTS

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@leejh unfortunately, i can relate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL SEE THE VERKWAN BEGINNING TO DEVELOP??? AND THE SOONCHAN??? YEAH THATS GOING TO BE A THING I LOVE BFS
> 
> also i would like to incorporate more ships and social media aspects like the ig post so ;)));)););)));))));;))
> 
>  
> 
> thank u for reading? i hope u enjoyed lmao <3


	3. hard pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seventeen are LOSERS!!! (jk i love them w all my heart i just like memes)
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy some predebut svt + twice/bts mentions bc im lame

**ever seen a chicken strip** @hoshhoshhosh

 

sana minatozaki….pls obliterate me

 

 **josh loves me tf** @angelhannie

 

@hoshhoshhosh would say big mood but im momo biased

 

 **uwu me one more time** @kwankwankwan

 

@hoshhoshhosh @angelhannie so yall just gonna sleep on the perfection that is park jihyo

 

 **lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@hoshhoshhosh @angelhannie @kwankwankwan hah u guys are LOSERS

 

 **thanks i hate it** @junhweed69

 

@hoshhoshhosh @angelhannie @kwankwankwan @wonmood he says that but yesterday i walked in on him killing dahyuns rap part so draw ur own conclusions fellas

 

 **lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@hoshhoshhosh @angelhannie @kwankwankwan @junhweed69 i have never wanted someone to choke more

 

-

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

hello everyone it is xu minghao back and in action and today im here to expose

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe we’ll begin with our very own gentleman joshua hong

  


 

 **jeonghan anti** @honkjisos

 

@mingahoe WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe we’ll continue with this fine young man

  
  


 

 **kill me** @98vern

 

@mingahoe if ANYONE tells me anything involving the phrase “kidney function” in any way...

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe next up is this handsome fellow…i know its hard to believe but he is SINGLE!

  
  


 

 **not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@mingahoe WHAT THE HELL WHERE DID YOU GET THIS

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe moving on…can you believe these biceps are even real??

  


 

 **thanks i hate it** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe hahahhahahahhahahhha die!!!!!!!

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe cant speak for anyone else but i know i would let him rawr XD me anyday

  


 

 **lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@mingahoe xu minghao?? dead to me

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe and last but not least…smash or pass??? i would gotta say its a smash from me

  


 

 **josh loves me tf** @angelhannie

 

@mingahoe definite smash from me

 

 **uwu me one more time** @kwankwankwan

 

@mingahoe @angelhannie sorry but hard pass that yellow tie just isnt doing it for me

 

 **thanks i hate it** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe WHY THE HELL AM I HERE TWICE

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@junhweed69 bc all i had to do was ask your mom for pictures of you and she delivered… psa mrs. wen is a goddess

 

 **kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe anyway i hope you all enjoyed this weeks “expose everyone w twt user mingahoe”! join us next time for more!

 

 **not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@mingahoe i think i can speak for everyone when i say xu minghao is a snake and i hope he dies

 

-

 

_Monday, November 6_

_10:49 PM_

 

 **[** **_succ_ ** (@kimmingyu, @xumh97, @dkmin) **]**

 

 **kimmingyu** : some

 

 **kimmingyu** : body

 

 **kimmingyu** : once

 

 **kimmingyu** : told me

 

 **dkmin** : the world

 

 **kimmingyu** : was gonna

 

 **dkmin** : roll me

 

 **kimmingyu** : i ain’t

 

 **xumh97** : and im going to have to stop you there

 

 **xumh97** : bc as much as i appreciate all star im actually trying to do hw for once and my phone having a seizure next to me isnt rlly helping my focus all that much

 

 **xumh97** : did u need something mingyu

 

 **kimmingyu** : :(((((

 

 **kimmingyu** : but yeah

 

 **kimmingyu** : are either of u going to jungkooks party this friday

 

 **xumh97** : whos invited

 

 **xumh97** : bc i mean last time was fun but

 

 **dkmin** : that video of u and bambam circulated for like half that semester it was great

 

 **dkmin** : i’ll probably go

 

 **kimmingyu** : minghao just ask kook urself i dont wanna

 

 **xumh97** : i would but he blocked my number yesterday after i tried to stick granola in his ear during the 8am lecture

 

 **dkmin** : that is… wild

 

 **xumh97** : so yeah i cant ask him myself

 

 **kimmingyu** : fine i’ll ask him

 

 **kimmingyu** : but u should go bc i do know a certain junior is going…. ;)))))))

 

 **xumh97** : jump off a cliff

 

 **xumh97** : i’ll think about it

 

 **xumh97** : and not bc of the certain person >:///

 

 **kimmingyu** : whatever u say hao ;))

 

-

 

 **gordon ramsay sunbaenim** @junhweed69

 

currently rewatching masterchef junior and i forgot how emotionally invested i was in season 2

 

 **gordon ramsay sunbaenim** @junhweed69

 

@junhweed69 say what u want but sean deserved better

 

 **ocean man** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@junhweed69 how do u have friends???

 

 **gordon ramsay sunbaenim** @junhweed69

 

@hoshhoshhosh listen… i didnt ask for ur opinion

 

-

 

 **slurp on me gurt** @leejh

 

slurp on me gurt

 

 **not a beanpole >:( **@mingew

 

@leejh gladly

 

 **nyooming outta here** @dinonono

 

@leejh okay

 

 **gordon ramsay sunbaenim** @junhweed69

 

@leejh ownly if yuw weally want me to papa uwu

 

 **slurp on me gurt** @leejh

 

@junhweed69 uh its wonwoo hacking jihoons twitter but what the hell is wrong with you jun

 

 **gordon ramsay sunbaenim** @junhweed69

 

@leejh oh noes!! yuw don’t wike when i type wike dis papa? :3

 

 **slurp on me gurt** @leejh

 

@junhweed69 theres a gallon of bleach arriving at your doorstep in 5 minutes enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 97 line friendship can i get a hoya
> 
>  
> 
> more SHIPS BC !!! guess who that mysterious junior is hm hm hm i bet u know ;);));;)))
> 
>  
> 
> anyway thank u if u read this ily!!!
> 
> (ps that granola story is true my friend tried to stick granola in my ear the other day and i just)


	4. i'll make a man out of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this has a lot more plot than i originally intended but its whatever
> 
>  
> 
> more ship development + bullying what a wholesome chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please vote for seventeen on idol champ/mama last time i checked on idol champ they were barely leading so pls get them a win y'all know they deserve it
> 
>  
> 
> on a slightly related note congrats monsta x on their first win!!! im sosososo proud of them and am so happy their talent is finally being recognized <33

**die** @leejh

 

jeon wonwoo??? huh idk him

 

 **lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@leejh was it so wrong to want everyone to know that your gurt was available for slurping :(

 

-

 

_Tuesday, November 7_

_4:57 PM_

 

 **[** **_96 more like 69 ay lmao_ ** (@wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon) **]**

 

 **kwonsoon** : helllllllllooooooooooooooooo

 

 **kwonsoon** : GUESS WHOS GOT ANOTHER DATE W A CUTE UNDERCLASSMAN MAJORING IN DANCE TONIGHT

 

 **leejihoon** : jun wishes he does

 

 **wjh96** : that was uncalled for jihoon fuck u

 

 **kwonsoon** : can we just appreciate my mad game without roasting each other

 

 **kwonsoon** : im so excited kjfd;lslj;dkf im so whipped for lee chan

 

 **kwonsoon** : but its true jun u needa step up and go for it

 

 **wjh96** : i dont think he likes me back tho ://

 

 **jeonww** : no wonder ppl call u dumb jun

 

 **wjh96** : why is it roast junhui 2k17 day tonight

 

 **wjh96** : im serious he probably likes mingyu or smthing

 

 **jeonww** : ….wow

 

 **kwonsoon** : no offense junnie, but sometimes ur thicker than a brick wall

 

 **leejihoon** : brick walls arent even that thick soonyoung

 

 **kwonsoon** : fine

 

 **kwonsoon** : sometimes ur thicker than lee seokmin’s thighs

 

 **jeonww** : ur right seokmins thicc af

 

 **wjh96** : u guys are not helpful at all

 

 **jeonww** : u just gotta

 

 **jeonww** : be a man

 

 **jeonww** : (swift as the coursing river)

 

 **kwonsoon** : (with all the force of a great typhoon)

 

 **wjh96** : (with all the strength of a raging fire)

 

 **leejihoon** : …

 

 **leejihoon** : mysterious as the dark side of the moon

 

 **kwonsoon** : damn didnt know jihoon actually had a childhood and watched disney movies

 

 **leejihoon** : mulan is the only tolerable princess the rest suck ass

 

 **wjh96** : tbh rt

 

 **jeonww** : this is not the point… jun just ask him out already

 

 **wjh96** : we’ll see

 

 **jeonww** : huh

 

-

 

_Tuesday, November 7_

_5:12 PM_

 

 **jeonww** _created_ **[** ** _operation: make junhao canon_** **]**

 

 **jeonww** _added_ **choisc** , **yoonhannie** , **hongjisoo** , **kwonsoon** , **leejihoon** , **kimmingyu** , **dkmin** , **bookwan** , **hansolvern** , _and_ **leechan** _to_ **[** ** _operation: make junhao canon_** **]**

 

 **jeonww** : i hope youve all noticed our two fav chinese pals are whipped for each other

 

 **jeonww** : if not i can write you a 4 page paper with evidence on why this should be an acknowledged fact

 

 **jeonww** : anyway

 

 **jeonww** : theyre both being stubborn af and have been for the past two years so we’re going to take matters into our own hands and get them together

 

 **jeonww** : hence, operation: make junhao canon

 

 **jeonww** : i have a plan i just need u all to be in

 

 **kwonsoon** : im in

 

 **yoonhannie** : i love meddling in other ppls love lives!!

 

 **hongjisoo** : sigh my bf is so shady

 

 **hongjisoo** : lets do it

 

 **choisc** : im in!

 

 **kimmingyu** : i’ll do it

 

 **leechan** : i'll help!

 

 **dkmin** : im in!!

 

 **bookwan** : did someone say getting junhao together bc IM HERE FOR IT!!

 

 **hansolvern** : ok im in

 

 **leejihoon** : i guess

 

 **jeonww** : alright so heres whats gonna go down

 

-

 

 **josh loves me tf** @angelhannie

 

i love being a grade a swindler

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@angelhannie we know hannie :))))

 

 **uwu me one more time** @kwankwankwan

 

@angelhannie @dadcheol incoming salty josh in 3…

 

 **ocean man** @hoshhoshhosh

 

 **@** angelhannie @dadcheol @kwankwankwan 2…

 

 **im in SOUP** @seokseokseok

 

@angelhannie @dadcheol @kwankwankwan @hoshhoshhosh 1…

 

 **NOT JEONGHANS BF** @honkjisos

 

@angelhannie UM YEAH U SLIPPERY RACCOON SWINDLER AFTER ALL 35 OF THOSE MARIO KART GAMES EARLIER I THINK I FIGURED THAT OUT :))))))))))))

 

 **ocean man** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@angelhannie @honkjisos on a scale of 1 to the “last may where jisoo went off and didnt speak to jeonghan for 3 weeks incident” i would rate that a 2.5, we’ve seen much stronger performances from joshua hong in the past

 

 **uwu me one more time** @kwankwankwan

 

@angelhannie @honkjisos @hoshhoshhosh i agree, a bit disappointing

 

 **josh loves me tf** @angelhannie

 

@honkjisos @hoshhoshhosh @kwankwankwan arent we just relationship goals

 

-

 

_Tuesday, November 7_

_8:26 PM_

 

 **[** **_loser brigade_ ** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **jeonww** : hey dickheads

 

 **jeonww** : its almost time for our annual november 10th party

 

 **xumh97** : thats not a thing

 

 **leejihoon** : we’ve never done that before

 

 **jeonww** : ok but we’re doing it this year so its a thing now

 

 **jeonww** : mark ur calendars bc this friday its gonna get lit

 

 **xumh97** : wait thats the same day as jungkooks party

 

 **jeonww** : well shucks ur gonna have to miss it for this one

 

 **dkmin** : nooooo i was so looking forward to a part two of u and bambams video from last year hao!!

 

 **xumh97** : lets not talk about that thanks

 

 **kimmingyu** : i just really appreciate all the effort u guys put into that content tho

 

 **kimmingyu** : i mean singing the entirety of ring ding dong in kermit voices while dabbing on every beat is just

 

 **kimmingyu** : so admirable

 

 **kimmingyu** : brings tears to my eyes

 

 **kimmingyu** : i still watch it every day

 

 **choisc** : i think we all do tbh

 

 **wjh96** : my favorite parts were each and every time minghaos voice cracked

 

 **bookwan** : personally i liked when bambam smacked minghao in the face while dabbing and minghao fell off the couch but kept singing

 

 **xumh97** _left_ **[** ** _loser brigade_** **]**

 

 **jeonww** _added_ **xumh97** _to_ **[** ** _loser brigade_** **]**

 

 **jeonww** : ANYWAY as i was explaining

 

 **jeonww** : on friday me and soonyoungs at 8:30 be there or be square

 

 **hongjisoo** : and nobody wants to be a square

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u guess the mystery JUNior's identity right?? ;);));;)));)
> 
> also what did u think bambam and minghaos video was gonna be i honestly didnt know until i wrote this and struggled to come up w smthing so if u were disappointed im sorry
> 
>  
> 
> thank u for all the hits and kudos and comments!! i rlly appreciate them!
> 
> if u read this i love u!!


	5. die xoxo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what i learned while writing this is that i have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy

**ocean man** @kwonkwonkwon

 

i would like you all to know that if me and jihoon were white soccer moms i would be the superior one

  


**die** @leejh

 

@kwonkwonkwon fake news karen your tuna casserole would always be dry

  


**ocean man** @kwonkwonkwon

 

@leejh sorry what was that? i can’t speak “not on the PTA board of trustees”

  


**die** @leejh

 

@kwonkwonkwon give up soonyoung we all know i would be the better soccer mom

  


**ocean man** @kwonkwonkwon

 

@leejh sorry karen my pinterest account begs to differ LOL!

  


**die** @leejh

 

@kwonkwonkwon hey pam? die xoxo

 

-

 

 **thrasher** @98vern

 

skate fast eat ass

  


**ocean man** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@98vern ok mr thrasher i do appreciate that sentiment but im going to gander youve touched a skateboard approximately a total of one (1) times in your entire life

  


**thrasher** @98vern

 

@hoshhoshhosh well you got me there

  


**not a beanpole :(** @mingew

 

@98vern eat fast skate ass

  


**kermit oppa!1!!** @mingahoe

 

@98vern @mingew eat skate fast ass

  


**im in SOUP** @seokseokseok

 

@98vern @mingew @mingahoe ass skate fast eat

  


**josh loves me tf** @angelhannie

 

@98vern @mingew @mingahoe @seokseokseok alright but consider this: ass

 

-

 

 **lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

so i was walking home from the library and this kid comes out of nowhere on a scooter and almost runs five people over like ok speed demon calm down??

  


**我不會說中文** @junhweed69

 

@wonmood i wish he had run you over xo

  


**speed demon** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@wonmood from now on i refuse to be referred to as anything but “speed demon” thanks

  


**lamest of the lames** @wonmood

 

@hoshhoshhosh the day i call you speed demon is the day hell freezes over

  


**speed demon** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@wonmood i understand… ur just jealous and it’s ok sweetie! we can’t all be speed demons :)

 

-

 

_Wednesday, November 8_

_10:58 PM_

 

 **[** **_loser brigade_ ** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **jeonww** : dont forget our fukcign party is in two days

 

 **leejihoon** : ah yes i greatly enjoy our festivities

 

 **leejihoon** : JUST KIDDING

 

 **leejihoon** : they just remind me how much i hate you all

 

 **kimmingyu** : whaaaaaat but we have so much fun together jihoonie

 

 **leejihoon** : mingyu i think your definition of fun needs some work

 

 **leejihoon** : because idk but i dont really think waiting until i go to the bathroom to send all of my contacts a mass text saying nothing but “my dick fell off” is that fun

 

 **leechan** : LMAO MINGYU YOU RLLY DID THAT

 

 **wjh96** : i forgot that channie wasnt there that year... the christmas party that year did get a little wild

 

 **dkmin** : i think a little wild is an understatement? just last week i found one of soonyoungs awful smiley face drawings on a sock that fell under my dresser

 

 **kwonsoon** : those drawings are art seok i hope you framed it

 

 **dkmin** : it literally is a dick turned into a smiley face

 

 **dkmin** : i wanted to burn that sock but i didnt bc i am an Upstanding Citizen who cares for the environment

 

 **kimmingyu** : anyway… um yes chan i did indeed do that and i consider it one of my finer choices

 

 **leejihoon** : my PARENTS received that text… not to mention my english professor responded to it saying and i quote “Oh no! My condolences :( Hope you’re still feeling well enough to attend class this week!“

 

 **choisc** : well golly does this school have its priorities straight

 

 **leejihoon** : mingyu i hope you know that i wish every year on my birthday that you get hit by a bus <33

 

 **kimmingyu** : what a coincidence i wish that for myself every night

 

 **hansolvern** : yknow what your mom wishes for every night ;))

 

 **xumh97** : shut up hansol or i will personally drop kick you into the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello sorry for not posting a chapter in a bit!! i was in taiwan for a little over a week and i already miss it sm but! i hope u like this chapter if u actually keep up w this fic even though its rlly short and sucks :/
> 
>  
> 
> also: 
> 
> 1\. juns twitter handle means "i cant speak chinese" if u wanted to know and were too lazy to google translate it (bc tbh same)
> 
> 2\. i was going to try to put a picture of what soonyoungs dick-smiley face looks like but couldn't get it to work so i'll let u figure out what u think it looks like ;') 
> 
> (my brother wouldnt stop drawing them everywhere and i just needed to get my frustration with them out somewhere im sorry)
> 
>  
> 
> hhahahahahaha i want to die


	6. squads gettin turnt tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean im here for the junhao too but yall know china line would...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that all the pictures and format in this are so ugly, its making me mad but idk how to get it to work properly sdljkfdjsklf

_Friday, November 10_

_12:03 AM_

 

 **[** **_loser brigade_ ** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **wjh96** : its just occurred to me that we’re having a party and finals are in less than two weeks

 

 **wjh96** : someone explain why this is a thing

 

 **kwonsoon** : we just really hate ourselves

 

 **wjh96** : ok but i actually need to study can we pls move the party to after finals

 

 **jeonww** : no

 

 **wjh96** : do u want me to fail

 

 **jeonww** : maybe

 

 **wjh96** : i dont like u

 

 **jeonww** : we are having this party and ur gonna have a good time and study after okay junnie??

 

 **wjh96** : no

 

 **jeonww** : alright sounds great

 

-

 

_Friday, November 10_

_12:10 AM_

 

 **[** ** _operation: make junhao canon_** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **jeonww** : despite juns best efforts to stop this plan from happening operation: make junhao canon is still a go

 

 **jeonww** : are u all ready

 

 **dkmin** : aye aye captain

 

 **jeonww** : if this plan doesnt work im suing

 

 **leejihoon** : i think we all will be

 

-

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

squads boutta get turnt tonight B)

 

 **boogie woogie woogie** @kwankwankwan

 

@dadcheol im afraid ur not in the squad anymore pls delete that tweet and never say turnt again and this can be reconsidered

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@dadcheol @kwankwankwan why is everyone so mean to me

 

-

 

_Friday, November 10_

_8:31 PM_

 

 **[** ** _loser brigade_** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **jeonww** : um its 8:31 where the hell are you all

 

 **jeonww** : i believe i said be at me and soonyoungs at 8:30 not 8:31

 

 **yoonhannie** : calmst the fuck down sonny boy whos the speed demon now

 

 **jeonww** : if yall arent here in 10 minutes im going to send soonyoungs nudes to the entire student body

 

 **kwonsoon** : ??????????

 

 **jeonww** : better hurry up :)

 

 **dkmin** : oh no.... suddenly its like im moving in slow motion

 

 **kwonsoon** : ???????????????????????????????

 

-

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

guess who just went to the bathroom???? i think its time for a revisit of “my dick fell off”... (@ a certain mr lee jihoon)

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

@mingew jk he changed his password to something other than 1234 so uhh mission aborted

 

-

 

_Friday, November 10_

_10:59 PM_

 

 **[** ** _loser brigade_** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **xumh97** : youre all DEAD

 

 **wjh96** : i hate each and every one of u

 

 **xumh97** : whose idea was this

 

 **wjh96** : turn ur locations on i swear i just wanna talk

 

 **xumh97** : ANSWER YOU LITTLE HOES

 

 **bookwan** : suddenly.... i cant read bye

 

 **xumh97** : im not friends with any of you

 

 **jeonww** : we’ll unlock the door in.... an hour or so? have fun xoxo

 

 **wjh96** : i hope u choke

 

-

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

tfw your friends are dumb as fuck and try to finesse you but end up playing themselves

 

 **bitcc** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe lmao rt yall thought

 

-

**wenjunhui**

Liked by **xumh97** , **lee.jihoon** , **chaehw** , and **203 others**

 **wenjunhui** taken shortly after we climbed out a second story window @xumh97

_Load more comments_

**jeonwonu** i cant believe this disrespect

 **yoonjh** im just confused how did u two even get out

 **wenjunhui** @yoonjh we flew duh

 **xumh97** tonight was fun lol

 

-

 

_Saturday, November 11_

_12:43 AM_

 

 **[** ** _operation: make junhao canon_** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **choisc** : wow cant believe your brilliant foolproof plan failed wonwoo

 

 **jeonww** : how tf was i supposed to know they were going to climb out the window

 

 **leechan** : but y’all saw that ig post right?? so was this operation really a complete failure

 

 **kimmingyu** : hmmm thats a good point

 

 **choisc** : i guess we’re gonna have to wait and see

 

 **yoonhannie** : i told you guys we should have gone through with my plan

 

 **hongjisoo** : full offense but i dont think stealing one of their phones so you can “slide into the other’s dms” is a good way to confess

 

 **yoonhannie** : romance is not dead josh i think thats plenty smart

 

 **hongjisoo** : how did you get me to date you

 

-

 **joshuaahong**  


Liked by **kimgyu** , **bookwan** , **jeonwonu** , and **241 others**

 **joshuaahong** can you believe i’m dating the cutest boy ever (✿´⌣`✿)♡ @yoonjh

_Load more comments_

**kwon.soonyoung** SOFT JIHAN SEEN ONCE EVERY DECADE RT FOR 100 YEARS OF GOOD LUCK

 **yoonjh** nooo why did u post this i look like a goat :(

 **_leechan** i love my dads

 **choiseungcheol** @_leechan son i thought i was the only dad in your life how could you betray me like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the inconsistent updates and awful chapters but hello i'm back 
> 
> (also did y'all peep the tiny mx reference bc i saw those pics of jun & hyungwon @ mama and screamed bc theyre my biases anyway)
> 
> thanks for reading!! hmu w a comment if you want bc those are fun, any feedback is much appreciated! love you all :')


	7. procrastination at its finest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow i love bfs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ew realized the ig format kinda looks a bit different each chapter and it kinda bothers me but im too lazy to fix it sorry

**long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

if will is a nickname for william why do we have bill and not billiam

 

 **bitcc** @junhweed69

 

@mingew gyu… please go to bed

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

@mingew @junhweed69 i want answers not sleep

 

-

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

so apparently at my cousin’s school no one understands his vine references so i’m conducting an experiment today

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh will update throughout the day w my findings

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh so i just yelled “hi welcome to chili’s” in the middle of the hallway and at least six people turned around and told me they loved that vine

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh there were croissants at lunch… so i tripped holding one and at least two tables around me screamed “i could've dropped my croissant”

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh i asked a random girl if anyone ever told her she looked like beyonce and she just kinda looked at me weird so i’m a bit disappointed

 

 **bill nye the science guy** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh final conclusion: in class i said “i want a church girl” kinda quietly and i swear almost the entire row in front of me finished the vine i take it back i love this school

 

-

 

**_leechan**

   


 Liked by **vernsol** , **xumh97** , **seokmiiin** , and **189 others**

  **_leechan** he keeps screaming bc its finally cold enough outside to see ur breath someone come collect him @kwon.soonyoung

  _Load more comments_

  **jeonwonu** soonyoung we get it you vape

  **wenjunhui** ^^^^

  **yoonjh** just date already

 

-

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

i just wanted to let you all know that us 97ers did a secret santa and mister jeon jungkook gave me a copy of milk and vine and a pair of clout goggles as his gift

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe tbh im not even mad

 

 **whom’st’ve** @jjkook

 

@mingahoe if u dont show up to class tmr morning wearing the goggles i think i’m going to have to take them back bc i gave u those w the expectation u would use them

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

@mingahoe @jjkook uh kook he literally hasnt taken them off yet i dont think you have anything to worry about

 

-

 

**vernsol**

  


Liked by **joshuaahong** , **choiseungcheol** , **lee.jihoon** , and **223 others**

 **vernsol** we have our first final in less than 12 hours and he comes over to force me to watch a two hour lady gaga documentary with him… @bookwan

_Load more comments_

**bookwan** lady gaga deserves better than this disrespect vern

 **vernsol** @bookwan tell me that again after we fail tmr morning

 **kimgyu** aw friendship goals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a little ridiculous how much of this fic is based on experiences from my own life... my friend gave me milk and vine, clout goggles, and a spray bottle labelled "thot repellent" for our secret santa what a goddess
> 
> and also this week is dead week for me so yeah sorry for the lack of chapters!
> 
> but after finals i have a few weeks off of school so hopefully i can get a few chapters up then :')
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading as always! talk to me in a comment, or let me know what you think about the fic so far! love you all <33


	8. i mean same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy seventeen's performance at the kbs song festival was the best twenty minutes of my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of updates! ive been unmotivated to write this but uhh if any of you caught the fic i posted yesterday i am so sorry that was a mistake and i accidentally posted a draft.... that is still most definitely a work in progress so it wont be posted for awhile... apologies once again!
> 
> i also apologize for the picture formatting in this chapter for some reason its extra ugly this time ://

******kwon.soonyoung**

Liked by **seokmiiin** , **yoo.kihyun** , **lee.jihoon** , and **267 others**

 **kwon.soonyoung** we may not have cracked open any cold ones but we sure were the boys #wintershowcaseready

_Load more comments_

**joshuaahong** can't wait to see y'all tonight!!

 **choiseungcheol** so proud of you four

 **bookwan** prepared for my wig to fly tonight!

 

-

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

how are all my friends so talented wtf???!!??!!??!????!!!????!

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@mingew rt!

 

-

 

 **WOOZI** @official_woozi

 

Due to popular demand I’m starting an official account for musical pursuits. Thanks for all the support thus far, and I look forward to where music takes me.

 

 **has never went to oovoo javer** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@official_woozi FOLLOW BACK OPPA?? I SARAGNE YOU SO MUCH!!! :3

 

 **not woozi** @leejh

 

@hoshhoshhosh delete your twitter

 

-

 

 **screams into the void** @seokseokseok

 

just watched a video of mr lee jihoon playing the drums at the winter showcase and all i have to say is

 

 **screams into the void** @seokseokseok

 

@seokseokseok SET ME ON FIRE JIHOON THROW YOUR DRUMSET AT ME PLEASE

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

@seokseokseok i mean same

 

 **not woozi** @leejh

 

@seokseokseok @mingahoe how am i supposed to respond to this

 

-

 

_Sunday, November 19_

_3:35 PM_

 

 **[** ** _operation: make junhao canon_** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **kimmingyu** : GUESS WHO I SAW WORKING AT THE STARBUCKS JUST OFF CAMPUS

 

 **kimmingyu** : NONE OTHER THAN WEN JUNHUI HIMSELF

 

 **kimmingyu** : someone needs to bring minghao there immediately

 

 **kimmingyu** : jun looks v cute and soft rn someone PLS bring minghao i almost guarantee his heart will spontaneously combust

 

 **kwonsoon** : IM ON IT SIR

 

 **kimmingyu** : i appreciate ur dedication soonyoung

 

 **kwonsoon** : CHAN ILL BE AT YOUR DOOR IN FIVE MINUTES WE’RE GOING TO STARBUCKS

 

 **leechan** : wha

 

 **leechan** : ok sounds good!

 

 **yoonhannie** : #whippped

 

 **leechan** : i didnt ask to be exposed like this

 

 **yoonhannie** : it was already clear channie i was just emphasizing a fact :)

 

 **hongjisoo** : i cant disagree this time man

 

-

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

if anyone visits the starbucks on fifth and division refer to the barista solely as ‘jerry’

 

 **yes im piano man** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe ….why hao

 

 **ninja master supreme** @mingahoe

 

@junhweed69 thats what your name tag says? idk what you mean???

 

 **yes im piano man** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe listen tell the manager that ‘junhui’ aint that hard to pronounce i didnt willing choose this life

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

@junhweed69 arent u supposed to be working

 

 **yes im piano man** @junhweed69

 

@mingew the only people currently inside are the three idiots laughing and recording me from the corner so i think im ok

 

 **yes im piano man** @junhweed69

 

@mingew also no one tells me what to do little boy

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

@junhwed69 im taller than u

 

 **yes im piano man** @junhweed69

 

@mingew ok beanpole here’s a list of people who asked for your opinion: no one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is bad sorry jdslkfdlsjfksd but happy birthday jisoo!! my favorite burger king and spongebob enthusiast <33
> 
> ughgh anyway the heaven dance practice video was released and i've ascended 2017 can now end
> 
>  
> 
> as always thanks for reading! talk to me in a comment or leave feedback if you want!
> 
> support seventeen k thanks bye!


	9. suck my toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what i'm doing but this is happening i guess

**thi(c)^2** @seokseokseok

 

anyone care to explain why minghao is currently sprinting across campus at top speed

  
  


**thi(c)^2** @seokseokseok

 

@seokseokseok this is kinda impressive actually

  
  


**thi(c)^2** @seokseokseok

 

@seokseokseok hey hao when u see this later… consider joining the track team?

  
  


**:3** @junhweed69

 

@seokseokseok ah to answer ur first question he lost a bet but its not a big deal lol

  
  


**thi(c)^2** @seokseokseok

 

@junhweed69 i am intrigued tell me more

  
  


**:3** @junhweed69

 

@seokseokseok lmao i’ll let him explain 

 

-

 

_ Tuesday, November 21 _

_ 4:46 PM _

 

**[** **_succ_ ** (@kimmingyu, @xumh97, @dkmin)  **]**

 

**dkmin** : hao??? wyd?????

 

**xumh97** : uhhhhhhhh

 

**xumh97** : lets just say

 

**xumh97** : my tolerance for gummy worms is weaker than i thought

 

**xumh97** : gtg talk later though!

 

**dkmin** : i....

 

**dkmin** : dont know what to say

 

**dkmin** : ???? my friends are so concerning

 

**kimmingyu** : ^^^^

 

-

 

**no thanks** @wonmood

 

well i did not expect xu minghao at my door on this fine tuesday evening but it was a welcome surprise i suppose

  
  


**no thanks** @wonmood

 

@wonmood i couldve done without the dab but i appreciate the breadsticks 

  
  


**:3** @junhweed69

 

@wonmood ur welcome for the breadsticks it was my idea

  
  


**no thanks** @wonmood 

 

@junhweed69 ?? i dont understand you

  
  


**:3** @junhweed69

 

@wonmood its hard to comprehend pure genius sometimes wonu i get it

 

-

 

**minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

dont ask me to go to the mall or anything cause i just spent all my money on five orders of breadsticks… mr jerry can suck my toes

  
  


**:3** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe wow ur into some kinky stuff hao i see

  
  


**minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@junweed69 i repeat… suck my toes you fuckhead

 

-

 

**soft hours** @kwankwankwan

 

me? crying on a tuesday night? it’s more likely than u think

  
  


**asmr master** @honkjisos

 

@kwankwankwan maternal instinct is kicking in… boo are you okay?

  
  


**soft hours** @kwankwankwan

 

@honkjisos mmmmm yes! don’t worry about it!

  
  


**asmr master** @honkjisos

 

@kwankwankwan strangely i am unconvinced. dm me please if you ever need to talk kwannie...

  
  


**soft hours** @kwankwankwan

 

@honkjisos ah josh i really am okay! seriously i’m just being dumb dw lol

 

-

 

_ Tuesday, November 21 _

_ 11:29 PM _

 

**[** **_U-S-A! U-S-A!_ ** (@hongjisoo, @hansolvern)  **]**

 

**hongjisoo** : HANSOL

 

**hansolvern** : that is my name

 

**hansolvern** : you need smthing?

 

**hongjisoo** : seungkwans twitter. explain

 

**hansolvern** : that? how am i supposed to explain…

 

**hongjisoo** : you two are practically joined at the hip 

 

**hongjisoo** : i figured you would know if something happened?

 

**hansolvern** : ah

 

**hongjisoo** : so something did happen??

 

**hansolvern** : i mean

 

**hongjisoo** : spill vern

 

**hansolvern** : i dont think its a big deal

 

**hansolvern** : and idk if he wanted me to tell anyone else so...

 

**hansolvern** : sorry josh

 

**hansolvern** : gotta blast

 

**hongjisoo** : HANSOL VERNON CHOI

 

**hongjisoo** : i can’t believe you used gotta blast as a legitimate way to leave a conversation

 

**hongjisoo** : i’m disowning you

 

-

 

**!!!!** @hoshhoshhosh

 

morale has been at all time lows on the tl these past few days...

  
  


**!!!! @** hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh therefore ive taken it upon myself to BOOST THE MOOD!!!

  
  


**!!!!** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@hoshhoshhosh stay tuned folks ;3c

  
  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

@hoshhoshhosh i mean i’m here for it but was the ;3c necessary?

  
  


**!!!! @** hoshhoshhosh

 

@dadcheol i have to represent the furry community somehow hmmm?

  
  


**$coops** @dadcheol

 

@hoshhoshhosh kwon soonyoung? sorry i have literally no idea who that is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back and coming at you with a complete shitstorm!! i actually don't know where any of this is going but uhh we'll get there when we get there huh
> 
> once again thank you for reading! i appreciate all comments and kudos a lot! feel free to talk to me in a comment if you want, sorry if i'm awkward in responses but that's just me :')


	10. ;3c

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to summarize: soonyoung, wtf

_Sunday, November 26_

_11:46 AM_

 

 **[** **_loser brigade_ ** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **kwonsoon** : alright lads

 

 **kwonsoon** : the day has come and i have something to tell you all

 

 **kwonsoon** : !!!!!!!!

 

 **leejihoon** : youre dropping out of school to pursue a career in exotic dancing

 

 **kwonsoon** : no. but i’m not entirely opposed to that

 

 **kwonsoon** : i would be quite the exotic dancer

 

 **kwonsoon** : NOT MY POINT!

 

 **kwonsoon** : come over at 12:30!!! i have a surprise!!!

 

 **kwonsoon** : and food you leech ass fuckers

 

 **yoonhannie** : alright suddenly im interested

 

 **kwonsoon** : ya i thought that would do it

 

 **kwonsoon** : BUT YOU ALL BETTER COME!!! i think you guys will like the surprise!!

 

 **kwoonsoon** : see y’all soon!!! ;3ccccc

 

 **xumh97** : how many fursuits do you own? my guess is five

 

 **jeonww** : im going with at least eight

 

-

 

 **!!!!!!!!** @kwonsoon

 

i’m so excited AAAAAAH

 

 

 **long long noodle boy** @mingew

 

i feel… apprehensive and i don’t think i’m alone in this

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@mingew you’re not

 

 **idk anymore??** @kwankwankwan

 

@mingew @mingahoe ur really not

 

-

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

i?? am so conflicted

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe I AM A LOYAL DOG PERSON!

 

 **:3** @junhweed69

 

@mingahoe give it up minghao cat ppl are the future

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@junhweed69 i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again! mr jerry wen can suck! my! toes!

 

-

 

_Sunday, November 26_

_12:37 AM_

 

 **[** **_loser brigade_ ** (@choisc, @yoonhannie, @hongjisoo, @wjh96, @kwonsoon, @jeonww, @leejihoon, @xumh97, @kimmingyu, @dkmin, @bookwan, @hansolvern, @leechan) **]**

 

 **kimmingyu** : oh my GOD

 

 **choisc** : soonyoung are you even allowed to have one? like according to building regulations??

 

 **kwonsoon** : no

 

 **choisc** : WHY DO YOU HAVE ONE THEN

 

 **kwonsoon** : teen rebellion sir!

 

 **choisc** : i can’t believe you…

 

 **kwonsoon** : at least admit that mochi is the cutest cat you’ve ever seen (*´⌒`*)

 

 **choisc** : i will do nothing of the sort

 

 **choisc** : i’m eating all your bagel bites just to spite you

 

 **dkmin** : not if i do it first

 

 **yoonhannie** : soon… care to explain the six-pack of benadryl in the cabinet???

 

 **yoonhannie** : i was lookin for alcohol lol but i found this so

 

 **hongjisoo** : you alcoholic wtf its noon

 

 **yoonhannie** : KWON SOONYOUNG

 

 **yoonhannie** : answer or i’m abducting your cat

 

 **kwonsoon** : .

 

 **kwonsoon** : i may or may not have a slight allergy to cats

 

 **wjh96** : wow.

 

 **wjh96** : the man’s dedication to being a furry is so

 

 **wjh96** : impressive

 

 **bookwan** : i’ve made some questionable choices in my life but soon this might take the cake

 

 **kwonsoon** : when i can type properlhy you better wacth out you hoes

 

 **kwonsoon** : i jsut need to sotp sneezing every five seconsd

 

-

 

 **five days!!!** @seokseokseok

 

buy tickets for the choir show from anyone in choir this week! the show’s going to be great so i’d be happy if all of u came ✧*.◟(ˊᗨˋ)◞.*✧

 

 **$coops** @dadcheol

 

@seokseokseok did someone say hyping up my friends bc IM HERE AND I BETTER SEE YOU ALL AT THE CHOIR SHOW THIS SATURDAY

 

 **five days!!!** @seokseokseok

 

@dadcheol u are my dad… ur my dad! boogie woogie woogie

 

-

 

 **no thanks** @wonmood

 

i walk into soonyoung’s dorm today and this is what i see. i dont know how to feel.

 

 **not a furry** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@wonmood is it not impressive that i managed to do this

 

 **no thanks** @wonmood

 

@hoshhoshhosh update: soonyoung is crying bc of his allergy

 

 **four days!!!** @seokseokseok

 

@wonmood @hoshhoshhosh i mean i guess its impressive but the real question is: why

 

 **four days!!!** @seokseokseok

 

@wonmood @hoshhoshhosh also where did soonyoung acquire a hat and boots that small???

 

 **not a furry** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@seokseokseok i have my sources (i made them)

 

 **no thanks** @wonmood

 

@hoshhoshhosh it just concerns me how you choose to spend your time

 

 **:3** @junhweed69

 

@hoshhoshhosh @wonmood tbh it concerns all of us soonyoung pls get a job

 

 **not a furry** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@wonmood @junhweed69 give it up lads no employer is ever going to be worthy of these skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow another chapter already? incredible, truly
> 
>  
> 
> uhh also if there's more of soon's cat in the future then things may not be super accurate bc i'm allergic to cats like naega hosh is in this fic... ya i like them tho!
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading! if you have anything you wanna tell me leave a comment! comments and kudos are much appreciated <3


	11. i'm prepeared to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk but theres some junhao so

**today!!!** @seokseokseok

 

thanks to everyone who bought tickets this week! can’t wait to see you all tonight (๑ˊ ꇴ ˋ͈)〜♡॰ॱ

 

-

 

**kwonfire**

Liked by **kimgyu** , **wenjunhui** , **lee.jihoon** , and **29** **others**

 **kwonfire** first post on my private acc is a callout post bc i love being shady! anyway. i went to the choir show expecting singing (and jihoon seokmin and seungkwan did not disappoint you guys were perfect ily) but i didn’t sign up for this blatant pda

_Load more comments_

**seokmiiin** thanks for coming to the show love u soon!!

 **wenjunhui**  /vine guy voice/ what the fuck? is this allowed? what the fuck? is that allowed?!

 **yoonjh**  @wenjunhui stop

 **yoonjh** me and my bf are so cute send me this

 **joshuaahong** ^^dont be salty just cause me and hannie are cuter than you could ever be

 **kwonfire** @yoonjh @joshuaahong disrespecting me on my own posts now?? ok i see how it is

 

-

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

my life but every time soonyoung sends me a suicidal fruit meme my will to die increases

 

 **i avocadont want to be alive** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@mingahoe whoa why are u coming for me like this?? i personally enjoy those memes greatly?

 

 **minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@hoshhoshhosh please choke

 

 **i avocadont want to be alive** @hoshhoshhosh

 

@mingahoe sounds good bc

  


**minghao machine broke** @mingahoe

 

@hoshhoshhosh thanks i’m deleting my twitter

 

-

 

 **no thanks** @wonmood

 

today’s mood: “25 cents says you’ll jump off the roof”

 

“5 cents and we’ve got a deal” -two random kids i passed earlier

 

 **huuuuuuuuuh** @seokseokseok

 

@wonmood DUDE THAT WAS ME AND MINGHAO

 

 **:3** @junhweed69

 

@wonmood @seokseokseok idk whether the fact that wonwoo can’t recognize seokmin and minghao or the fact that 5 cents will get them to jump off a roof is funnier to me

 

-

 

_Tuesday, December 2_

_11:34 AM_

 

 **[** **_knee how_ ** (@wjh96, @xumh97) **]**

 

 **wjh96** : hey

 

 **wjh96** : minghaooooooooo

 

 **wjh96** : MINGHAO

 

 **wjh96** : respond

 

 **wjh96** : XU MINGHAO

 

 **wjh96** : ????????????!!!!!!!!!

 

 **wjh96** : are u dead????????

 

 **wjh96** : if u don’t respond in the next two seconds i’m calling hansol and telling him u were the one that stole his signed drake album

 

 **xumh97** : WHAT DO YOU NEED JFC IM IN CLASS

 

 **wjh96** : oh hi

 

 **wjh96** : i had my finger half a centimeter away from the call button u got lucky this time

 

 **xumh97** : how did you know i have hansols album

 

 **wjh96** : ….i didnt

 

 **wjh96** : wow

 

 **wjh96** : i just wanted u to respond but thanks for outing urself :DDD

 

 **xumh97** : fuck you

 

 **wjh96** : love u too hao!

 

 **wjh96** : anyway

 

 **wjh96** : lunch today?

 

 **xumh97** : uhhh

 

 **xumh97** : sure

 

 **wjh96** : yay! i’ll meet u by ur class

 

 **xumh97** : no its fine i’ll walk to your dorm

 

 **wjh96** : are u sure?

 

 **xumh97** : ya i gtg teacher is looking at me weird

 

 **wjh96** : see u <3

 

-

 

 **betrayal >:( **@mingew

 

me n mr jungkook just got CURVED by a certain xu snakehao and i can no longer trust anyone

 

 **betrayal >:( **@mingew

 

@mingew but the real question is… where was hao off to in such a hurry? hmhmhmhmmhm

  

 **betrayal >:( **@mingew

 

@mingew worry not kids! detective kim mingyu is already on the case

 

 **betrayal >:( **@mingew

 

@mingew expect updates to come… i already have a lead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi
> 
> if you didnt get it hao was supposed to go w mingyu and jk after their class but he ditched them for jun and didnt want them to know so thats why he told jun not to come to his class? ya idk either man
> 
>  
> 
> this fic is getting worse and worse as i lose insp and stuff but i'll do my best to keep it going lol... i'm also back in school so that's why updates are slower!
> 
> talk to me in a comment or smthing! thanks for reading as always and SUPPORT SEVENTEEN'S COMEBACK SOON I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE ALREADY HAVING A COMEBACK AGAIN


	12. about that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dates are gone bc i'm lazy but also not about to go change all the dates in the previous chapters. pretend everything happened relative to the date rn, february 2018 lmao sorry

**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

this just in… kim mingyu spotted sprinting across the quad. subject reported to be wearing a trench coat and holding a bubble pipe. 

  
  


**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

@angelhannie and well kids. meth is one hell of a drug

 

-

 

**somebody toucha my spaghett** @somebodytouchamyspaghett

 

that awkward moment when somebody toucha your spaghett

  
  


**belt** @98vern

 

@somebodytouchamyspaghett glad i’m not the only one with this issue

  
  


**cha cha slide enthusiast** @seokseokseok

 

@somebodytouchamyspaghett me as well

  
  


**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

@somebodytouchamyspaghett please refer to my latest tweet

  
  


-

 

**.** @leejh

 

i swear to FUCK if jeon goddamn wonwoo touches my twitter one more time i will actually shove an entire package of cheese sticks up his nose

 

-

 

**sherlock by shinee plays softly in the bg** @mingew

 

me, a true detective: owo what’s this??

  
  


**sherlock by shinee plays softly in the bg** @mingew

 

@mingew well not exactly the outcome i wanted but i will accept this anyway!

  
  


**sherlock by shinee plays softly in the bg** @mingew

 

@mingew anyway. i am now in possession of some piping hot tea. i will spill to anyone who delivers me a box of thin mints within the next half hour, y’all know where my room is

  
  


**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

@mingew suddenly i’m sprinting to your dorm

  
  


**would die for peanut butter** @honkjisos

 

@angelhannie i want you all to know that this bitch’s new years resolution was to be less of a tea whore and look at how well that’s going <3

  
  


**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

@honkjisos he literally typed that running alongside me. he tried it

  
  


**would die for peanut butter** @honkjisos

 

@angelhannie shut up no one asked

  
  


**frosted mini yeets** @angelhannie

 

@honkjisos i love you more sweetie xo

 

-

 

 **[** ** _dumb + dumber_** (@kimmingyu, @xumh97) **]**

  
  


**xumh97** : MINGYU SAY A SINGLE WORD TO ANYONE AND I CUT YOUR BALLS OFF

 

**kimmingyu** : well.

 

**kimmingyu** : about that

 

**xumh97** : KIM MINGYU

 

**kimmingyu** : i’m kidding hao what are you talking about i kinda like having balls

 

**xumh97** : ??? your twitter post

 

**kimmingyu** : what

 

**xumh97** : ?????????

 

**xumh97** : whats the tea

 

**kimmingyu** : where are my thin mints

 

**xumh97** : MINGYU

 

**kimmingyu** : tea has a price my friend

 

**xumh97** : tell me ffs

 

**kimmingyu** : why are you so curious lmao

 

**kimmingyu** : oop gtg josh and jeonghan just got here

 

**kimmingyu** : i’ll tell you later!

 

**xumh97** : MINGYU

 

-

 

**proud tea whore** @angelhannie

 

i do love me some tea. $5 well spent i’d say ;)

  
  


**sherlock by shinee plays softly in the bg** @mingew

 

@angelhannie i would insult you irl but my mouth is full of thin mints so i’ll settle for doing it here. youre a dingus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been awhile hasnt it
> 
>  
> 
> short chapter but i missed updating this fic so its here anyway /whips/
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading! stream thanks ok bye


	13. f is for friends who do stuff together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slurp happy late chinese new year

**i’m a horrible person** @wonmood

 

funny story of the day: seungcheol just used the word ‘gangbang’ in front of his music theory teacher and me and jihoon are literally about to piss ourselves

 

 **i’m a horrible person** @wonmood

 

@wonmood i really don’t think he’s aware what that means

 

 **permanent designated dad friend (pddf)** @scoops95

 

@wonmood wow my bad i tried and that’s all that matters okay???

 

 **yummy** @kwankwankwan

 

@wonmood can i request some more context

 

 **i’m a horrible person** @wonmood

 

@kwankwankwan me and jihoon started bullying seungcheol bc its just what you do and then he goes “professor kim jihoon and wonwoo are gangbanging me please tell them to stop”

 

 **yummy** @kwankwankwan

 

@wonmood thanks for sharing my mood lifted from extremely dead inside to mildly suicidal after hearing this

 

 **i’m a horrible person** @wonmood

 

@kwankwankwan glad i could be of assistance

 

 **permanent designated dad friend (pddf)** @scoops95

 

@wonmood @kwankwankwan i’m delighted my suffering is bringing you all joy it really is doing wonders for my self esteem

 

-

 

 **[** ** _knee how_** (@wjh96, @xumh97) **]**

 

 **wjh96** : thanks for hanging out w me today again! i had a lot of fun <3

 

 **xumh97** : me too <3

 

 **wjh96** : (´∀｀) ♪

 

 **wjh96** : wait i just remembered!

 

 **wjh96** : one of my friends is having a lunar new year party next wednesday or something

 

 **wjh96** : you might know him, i think he’s friends w jaehyun

 

 **wjh96** : dong sicheng?

 

 **xumh97** : yeah i know who he is

 

 **wjh96** : anyway

 

 **wjh96** : do you wanna go w me?? to the party?

 

-

 

 **[** ** _succ_** (@kimmingyu, @xumh97, @dkmin) **]**

 

 **xumh97** : [ _screenshot_7011_ ]

 

 **xumh97** : WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 

 **xumh97** : WHAT DO I SAY

 

 **xumh97** : ????!

 

 **xumh97** : help

 

 **kimmingyu** : get it hao

 

 **dkmin** : ^^^

 

 **xumh97** : HELP ME

 

 **kimmingyu** : send him this

 

 **kimmingyu** : [ https://youtu.be/K9jdIawyCJ0 ](https://youtu.be/K9jdIawyCJ0)

 

 **xumh97** : no

 

 **dkmin** : how about this?

 

 **dkmin** : [ https://youtu.be/wZa0bvJ7OYM ](https://youtu.be/wZa0bvJ7OYM)

 

 **xumh97** : I SWEAR TO FUCK

 

-

 

 **[** ** _knee how_** (@wjh96, @xumh97) **]**

 

 **xumh97** : yeah we should go together

 

 **wjh96** : great! we can figure out the details later or whatever

 

 **wjh96** : i’m excited already!

 

 **xumh97** : me too :)

 

-

 

 **lil broomstick** @mingahoe

 

1am thoughts: i would pay someone to follow me around and tell me not to do things

 

 **lil broomstick** @mingahoe

 

@mingahoe WHY AM I LIKE THIS I S2G

 

 **yung cash register** @mingew

 

@mingahoe see this wouldnt have happened if you just used the link i sent you

 

 **lil broomstick** @mingahoe

 

@mingew choke on my 17 foot shlong

 

 **yung cash register** @mingew

 

@mingahoe why would i when someone else can do that for you? ;)

 

 **lil broomstick** @mingahoe

 

@mingew WE ARE NOT FRIENDS! PLEASE STOP TALKING TO ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minghao is so awkward wow mood
> 
> thank you for reading and sorry shorter chapters are now a thing i guess


End file.
